to a boy i once knew, but dont know now, nor will ever...

if only i could let you know about all the beautiful things. i just want you to know. i see things in you that make me so happy. i see good. it would be impossible not to see good --- everyone has it. its the decision of the possessor to harvest that good and make it grow. im disgusted by the notion that there are people placed here on this earth who will do good things, who will have a good life, who will be good people…and right beside them exists the “nothings”. its silly to believe that people are either inherently good or bad, inherently talented or stupid. talent is not innate. talent is not the birth right of a select few, but rather its achieved through vigilance, curiosity, perseverance, and questioning. those who are “talented” had the aptitude for greatness, and they fulfilled that potential greatness through their own will. the “nothing”, the “nobody”, had the same aptitude for greatness, but did not fulfill their potential for whatever reason. not to say the reason isn’t legitimate, for i believe many are. however, the legacy of labeling in society, one being the act of placing levels of intelligence on human beings, limits our minds and frees the “untalented” from taking responsibility of their mind’s potential to imagine and learn and question and conclude. a human being naturally questions. a human being naturally seeks out a conclusion to a problem. a human being naturally imagines. if deemed “untalented”, a human being will lose that desire to question knowing that their questions possess no substance, no purpose. if deemed stupid, a human being will no longer seek to arrive at a human conclusion believing themselves unable to generate a fruitful deduction. if deemed a “nobody”, a human being will not imagine, will not let their minds wander to abstract areas, questionable areas, dark areas because they are scared of the cloudiness and discomfort of not knowing. when told you don’t know something, that you are stupid, that you are incapable of depth, analysis, and conclusion, the last thing you want to do is go venturing into the unknown because there you will believe its true ---there you will find your self helpless and unknowing. there you will not know what an irrational number really is, you will not understand why 5 x 4 equals 4 x 5, you will not know why the limit goes to 0 but never touches it. ambiguity will reinstate your label of “nothing” and cut you off from further excursions into the unknown. and how sad! the beauty of not knowing may very well lead you to a new ideas, which when combined with other ingredients, leads to a new insight. and each insight, i think, no matter how small or insignificant to others, is beautiful because you came upon that insight on your own thinking. i hate how people say “this is how it is”, it’s a “law”, a “rule”, a “fact”. its as if its so obvious, so clear, so transparent --- if questioned or not understood, well you must be stupid. but what is law, rule, and fact took someone years of thinking and questioning and imagining to come by. we undervalue that time. we don’t appreciate that thinking. and how can we just accept law, fact, and rule. rarely anything is or at least is as it seems, but we are driven to memorize, categorize, compartmentalize and accept knowledge so we can regurgitate it without really understanding. my mind often feels like a computer, filled with numbers, proofs, facts, equations, formulas, schedules but drained of all insight, imagination, iconoclasm and beauty. Why? i don’t want to be a computer. i want to be free thinking. and the last thing i want is to be called smart or talented or gifted or privileged. the last thing i want is for that man eating out of a garbage to be viewed as less than me because as humans we have equal potential. and whos to say i wouldn’t be eating out of the same garbage? why am i not? and would i really be any less human if i were? hes good. hes beautiful. hes human. he has an aptitude for greatness, for genius, but has not yet had the opportunity to fulfill it, and may never, but it doesn’t make him any less. i just wish i could show him as i wish i could show you. you hold so much potential. you are unique as everyone is. and i only wish you would arrive at something brighter, bolder, and more beautiful because right now, your wasting away the potential. im not judging, im not condemning. because i know there are parts of myself that are wasting away too. and i hope that no one passes judgment on me, but that if someone sees good in me, if someone sees some part of me that i can better fulfill, it is my hope they would tell me. it is my hope to live up to my highest potential, as it should be yours. its so easy to shut down, so easy to accept…just don’t please.